5 Tried-and-Tested Ways to Approach Finance with Your Partner

No matter how strong your relationship, talking about money can be tense. Finances can be rocky for many couples, at least for a while until they’ve settled into a rhythm.

Sadly, more couples than you might imagine simply can’t get past these issues. Money is actually the leading cause of stress in relationships, and the frequency of finance-related arguments is the top predictor of how long a relationship will last. A lot of this pressure stems from our own individual financial history: how we view money, what dramas we’ve had with it in the past, perhaps even how our parents’ approach to finances shaped our upbringing and has carried over into our own mindset.

No two partners have had the same experiences with money. And, when channelled well, this divergence between their finance can even be beneficial to the relationship. For example, while one may be a little more free and easy, which is all very well for the fun times, it would be helpful for this spontaneity to be occasionally countered by their partner’s cautiousness.

Whatever happens, talking is pivotal. It’s all too easy to brush things under the carpet, but when it comes to finance this approach often makes things worse. And things get even more complicated when it comes to debt and whether one partner is acting as the breadwinner (willingly or otherwise). That’s why—as with every other aspect of a relationship—communication is key! It’s vital to make sure you genuinely understand where your partner is coming from, and that they can see your perspective as well. Here are 5 ways I’ve found successful happy couples manage their finances.

1) Each partner is responsible for different bills

I’ve worked with lots of couples over the years who take exclusive responsibility for different expenses in the relationship. He might cover the mortgage and utilities while she covers groceries and miscellaneous fun stuff. Alternatively, the couple might allocate the more sizeable bills to the breadwinner while the other partner covers the smaller expenses.

Another option when it comes to as-and-when expenses like fuel and groceries is that they’re simply covered by whoever is running that errand at the time. As long as it feels fair and everyone’s happy, having each partner taking on different bills is a highly effective way of navigating the relationship’s finances!

2) Each partner works off a percentage

In this setup, each partner contributes to all expenses, but as a proportion of their own earnings. He earns 60% of the household income, he pays 60% of each expense. On paper this is easily the fairest way of splitting expenses, although not all couples care whether the bill splitting is mathematically exact like this.

3) The couple share an account

There’s no distinction between ‘mine’ and ‘yours’: both partners deposit their incomes into a joint account and stick to an agreed budget based on all shared expenses. This requires trust and transparency, although of course these are prerequisites for a happy relationship anyway—and if they’re absent, you may have bigger problems in your relationship than how you split your finances.

4) The couple live off one income

One partner’s paycheck covers all the couple’s expenses, while the other’s goes straight into savings. That way the couple is always looking to the future, and both partners are encouraged to be savvy with their money. In my experience, most couples who take this approach live off the income of the higher-earning partner, but I’ve known a few who have reversed this setup, living more frugally while focusing on building their nest egg.

5) The couple combine finances but have their own ‘fun money’

I’ve seen this approach work well for many former clients! Both partners’ paychecks are paid into a joint account, from which all expenses are paid—but both partners also have a separate account into which they receive ‘fun money’ on a monthly basis.

This scenario is a good balance for some couples, especially who see their joint account as a manifestation of their trust for one another but still want the freedom to splash out on their own hobbies, pastimes and interests from time to time. It’s just important to communicate when you foresee some overlap—when you take the kids to the zoo while your spouse works, is that a fun expense or a shared expense?

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to your finances as a couple

Maybe you’ll experiment with different setups, or maybe you’ll never even need to have the conversation because your particular approach just fell naturally into place.

Of course you can expect some disagreements along the way—that’s normal. As long as you’re honest and show your partner you’re trying to make your financial setup work for the sake of the relationship, everything should rub along well enough! And if you’d like a little guidance or support, we can help. Get in touch today, and one of our relationship experts will be delighted to help you work out where you stand on your finances as a couple—before you go home to talk it out with your partner.