Dating success in 2019
The new year marks the perfect time to start over and set goals in your life.
If you're single and stuck in a rut, dating coach Siobhan Copland says there's no better excuse than the beginning of 2018 to really take stock of your love life and de-clutter.
The professional matchmaker advises the best way to ring in the new year is to refocus your approach to achieve a healthier and romantic life.
But that means taking action and following several key steps including dumping the 'friend with benefits' who is draining your energy.
Siobhan, who launched her own dating company Match Me Cupid in 2009, told FEMAIL why being selective when choosing a partner is not a failing but will help lead to a successful relationship: 'You're better off satisfying yourself until you find someone who is fully on your wavelength.'
If you've been seeing someone casually it's time to cut them off and find someone who is willing to be available to all your needs not just sex
DUMP THE FRIEND WITH BENEFITS
Seeing someone casually who 'fulfils certain needs' is a big no-no according to Siobhan, she says it's time to cut out the energy zapper.
'When they’re not available at your beck and call, it becomes frustrating and could well be getting in the way of you being fully emotionally available when the right one comes along.
'Best to leave that arrangement in 2017, and wait for the full package,' she said.
'Sex after all is also an exchange of energy, be picky with who you share your energy with.'
Go out and experience meeting people in person, that way you're not hiding behind online dating apps
FOLLOW A THREE DATE RULE
Before dating apps, people would get to know someone over a period of time giving a chance to get to know someones personality fully before making a call on whether they are right.
First date nerves are real, and you should make a call once you can see a person is relaxed with you.
Plus people always put on a bit of a show first date, but by the third you can usually see consistency in their character.
With todays fast paced dating landscape people are quick to jump back on the app after one date to see if anything better else is out there.
If you find someone physically attractive, and you didn’t have a mind numbingly boring time, give that person at least three dates to get to see them in different circumstances, and a chance for romance to develop. i.e First date could be a drink, second date could be an activity, and third date you could even offer them over for dinner or a take away. It also means you won’t be asking all the questions you want to know all on one date, which can make a person uncomfortable and like being interviewed, it will feel more natural, allowing them to reveal themselves over the course of dates.
STREAMLINE YOUR ONLINE DATING
Siobhan also advises against spreading yourself too thin, instead if you are using online dating apps to stick to just one and improve your profile.
'There is such a thing as app fatigue. Pick one app where you feel you can find your tribe. And keep your profile short and sweet.
Ask your friends to set you up on a blind date or seek the help of a matchmaking service to find a new partner
'Think of three things you would like to find in common with someone, and include it in your bio. Steer away from saying what you don’t want.'
She says asking your friends for help in picking the right photos; but encourages women to wear a dress with heels and men should opt for a blazer and jeans to attract matches.
GO ON A BLIND DATE
Siobhan says that your friends can be key to meeting someone, so ask them to set you up with a friend of a friend or even join a matchmaking service and get someone to do the hard work for you.
'Many successful relationships have developed as a result of having a blind date, like on the programme!
'They get to know a few things about a person before picking their date. You could have your own at home version, get your friends to line up a few prospects, and pick the one you most like the sound of.'
( As featured in the Daily Mail online)