Posts tagged london dating

Top 10 dating tips

Dress smart but comfortably

Of course you want to look hot for your date, but what makes you look attractive is also being comfortable in your own skin, constantly fiddling with your outfit and hair, can make you look insecure. And dress appropriate for where you'll be spending your date, for example if you're just meeting to go walking round the park, chucking on your stilettos, may not be such a good idea, ending up limping with blisters is never a good look especially on a first date. Practical, but stylish is always a good way to go.

- Be yourself!

Sounds like an obvious one, but when first dating, it can be tempting to think you need to act a certain way in order to impress. But let's face it if you're hoping for a relationship, you can only keep up an act for so long, and why would you want someone to fall for anyone other than the true you. If they don't like you for who you are to start with, they're not for you.

- Don't drink too much

We've all done it, necked a good few glasses of wine, for Dutch courage, but over drinking on a date is a recipe for disaster for a number of reasons. Not only may you make a fool of yourself, but it also impairs your judgement, and you may end up jumping into bed with your date, and feeling pretty embarrassed about it with regrets in the morning. Two drinks maximum, if your date is pressuring you to drink too much, best thing to do is cut the night short, then end up on an all night bender. They'll definitely not lose any respect for you in doing so.

- Don't bring up your ex.

You may get asked why you're single, don't make it into a story about your ex, give a reason, which is short and sweet, and in relation to your current situation. Your singledom should actually be nothing to do with your past. Its about your present situation. If you get asked about why you broke up again, short and sweet is the way, and move on from the subject quickly. Certainly don't give the indication that you're bitter towards your ex, as it gives off signals that you're not really ready to fully move on.

Have in mind what you're looking for.

- Ask the right questions, but don't make it feel like an interview. A date should be about getting to know someone but more importantly about enjoying one another's company. Ask questions which show interest, but not in a way which appears as if you're simply fact finding. This can make a person feel interrogated, and not a way to create a comfortable atmosphere.

If you don't like something don't pretend you do

Just to make it seem as if you have everything in common with them. It's ok to have differences, it's great to have some things in common, like shared values, and interests. But just because you don't like all the same things as a person, doesn't mean they'll like you any less. Some of your differences may actually make you appear more interesting. And it may give you cause for some banter, which is always a good thing.

Get off your phone when on your date,

It doesn't matter how important your job is, or what you're friends are up to on face book, when you're out with someone you need to learn to switch off. Calls can be returned and texts can wait. If you literally have an emergency situation when you need to be on call, then its better you cancel your date, then to sit there constantly checking your phone. Your focus and attention should be on your date and your date only, its really that simple.

- Be positive.

When asked how your day or week has been, sure you may have had some stresses to deal with at work, and your may want to vent. But lets face it noone wants to be in a relationship with a moaner. Stay positive, you can be honest and say, you had a few situations to deal with, but always end on a positive note. And if your date has a bit of a moan, be supportive but try to see the bright side in the situation too, and not dwell on the negative.

Don't talk too much about yourself.

Of course its great that someone is showing an interest and wants to get to know you, but try not to get too carried away, talking about yourself, when asked questions, try to keep answers relatively brief, and keep the conversation flowing by asking about them in return. The conversation should be two way, when it ends up turning into a dialogue, your date will eventually switch off and lose interest. No matter how interested they are in you, if they feel you're too self centred it can prove to be a turn off.

Don't be afraid to say what you want.

- Often people are afraid to lay their cards on the table, for fear of the person running away. But if you are sure of what you want, why go along, playing the guessing game, wasting both your time. Be upfront and honest, and if it turns out you're not looking for the same things, better you know sooner rather than later down the line, kicking yourself for settling for less than you deserve. In the dating game, what you want is out there, you've just go to be in in to win it!

As featured in Female First magazine

Dating success in 2019

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The new year marks the perfect time to start over and set goals in your life.

If you're single and stuck in a rut, dating coach Siobhan Copland says there's no better excuse than the beginning of 2018 to really take stock of your love life and de-clutter.

The professional matchmaker advises the best way to ring in the new year is to refocus your approach to achieve a healthier and romantic life.

But that means taking action and following several key steps including dumping the 'friend with benefits' who is draining your energy. 

Siobhan, who launched her own dating company Match Me Cupid in 2009, told FEMAIL why being selective when choosing a partner is not a failing but will help lead to a successful relationship: 'You're better off satisfying yourself until you find someone who is fully on your wavelength.' 

If you've been seeing someone casually it's time to cut them off and find someone who is willing to be available to all your needs not just sex

DUMP THE FRIEND WITH BENEFITS 

Seeing someone casually who 'fulfils certain needs' is a big no-no according to Siobhan, she says it's time to cut out the energy zapper.  

'When they’re not available at your beck and call, it becomes frustrating and could well be getting in the way of you being fully emotionally available when the right one comes along. 

'Best to leave that arrangement in 2017, and wait for the full package,' she said.

'Sex after all is also an exchange of energy, be picky with who you share your energy with.'

Go out and experience meeting people in person, that way you're not hiding behind online dating apps

FOLLOW A THREE DATE RULE

Before dating apps, people would get to know someone over a period of time giving a chance to get to know someones personality fully before making a call on whether they are right.

First date nerves are real, and you should make a call once you can see a person is relaxed with you.

Plus people always put on a bit of a show first date, but by the third you can usually see consistency in their character.

With todays fast paced dating landscape people are quick to jump back on the app after one date to see if anything better else is out there.

If you find someone physically attractive, and you didn’t have a mind numbingly boring time, give that person at least three dates to get to see them in different circumstances, and a chance for romance to develop. i.e First date could be a drink, second date could be an activity, and third date you could even offer them over for dinner or a take away. It also means you won’t be asking all the questions you want to know all on one date, which can make a person uncomfortable and like being interviewed, it will feel more natural, allowing them to reveal themselves over the course of dates.

STREAMLINE YOUR ONLINE DATING  

Siobhan also advises against spreading yourself too thin, instead if you are using online dating apps to stick to just one and improve your profile. 

'There is such a thing as app fatigue. Pick one app where you feel you can find your tribe. And keep your profile short and sweet.

Ask your friends to set you up on a blind date or seek the help of a matchmaking service to find a new partner

'Think of three things you would like to find in common with someone, and include it in your bio. Steer away from saying what you don’t want.' 

She says asking your friends for help in picking the right photos; but encourages women to wear a dress with heels and men should opt for a blazer and jeans to attract matches.  

GO ON A BLIND DATE

Siobhan says that your friends can be key to meeting someone, so ask them to set you up with a friend of a friend or even join a matchmaking service and get someone to do the hard work for you.

'Many successful relationships have developed as a result of having a blind date, like on the programme!

'They get to know a few things about a person before picking their date. You could have your own at home version, get your friends to line up a few prospects, and pick the one you most like the sound of.'

( As featured in the Daily Mail online)