Posts tagged people

How to meet people

I’m often asked this question, Where do I go to meet people? That may seem like a perfectly reasonable question coming from someone who lives in a remote village someone in the highlands. But living in a monster city like London, jam packed full of over 8 million people, you’d be lucky to find a spot, where you can be in solitude. Despite being crammed into tubes, and buses daily with people intimately close by no fault of their own, sat opposite each other for long journeys, avoiding eye contact at all costs, instead choosing to bury our heads in the daily free paper, or a round of angry birds. We miss or more accurately avoid opportunities to ‘ meet’ people every day.
The only conversations with strangers we have are often alcohol induced, rather than human curiosity. Ever since childhood we’ve been taught not to speak to strangers, and for some its as much as a fear, as public speaking or as daunting as attempting a mariah carey cover at Karaoke.

In reality, working in London during rush hour, we see thousands of people every day, yet how often do we make new connections? Rarely.

Even the ‘old fashioned’ ones who refuse to go down modern methods such as internet dating to form new connections, preferring to meet the love of their life while at the deli counter in Waitrose, take no proactive action. Life is not a romcom, most handsome, confident men, don’t come up and ask whats in your basket, and they’re certainly not mind readers, so without a signal, they’ll just keep shopping!

I met my first love on the tube, it did feel a bit like love at first sight, eyes met across the carriage, and all, but to be fair, I would never have approached him, as I felt too shy, and he hesitated too.
Fortunately I had a ‘ matchmaker’ friend present, who didn’t hesitate at all, to race up to him, telling him I fancied him (much to my embarrassment at the time) but had she not taken the initiative we’d have both missed out on a great romance!

Living in a city you have the advantage that people are out every day of the week, spilling out of restaurants, pubs, bars, galleries, parks, libraries, the tube, everywhere, the only thing coming in-between you and them is Fear.

And there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

So think of a good ice-breaker and break the habit of not speaking to strangers!

I’ll be posting a video shortly with some more tips on how to approach strangers, and get a positive response!