Top 10 dating tips
Dress smart but comfortably
Of course you want to look hot for your date, but what makes you look attractive is also being comfortable in your own skin, constantly fiddling with your outfit and hair, can make you look insecure. And dress appropriate for where you'll be spending your date, for example if you're just meeting to go walking round the park, chucking on your stilettos, may not be such a good idea, ending up limping with blisters is never a good look especially on a first date. Practical, but stylish is always a good way to go.
- Be yourself!
Sounds like an obvious one, but when first dating, it can be tempting to think you need to act a certain way in order to impress. But let's face it if you're hoping for a relationship, you can only keep up an act for so long, and why would you want someone to fall for anyone other than the true you. If they don't like you for who you are to start with, they're not for you.
- Don't drink too much
We've all done it, necked a good few glasses of wine, for Dutch courage, but over drinking on a date is a recipe for disaster for a number of reasons. Not only may you make a fool of yourself, but it also impairs your judgement, and you may end up jumping into bed with your date, and feeling pretty embarrassed about it with regrets in the morning. Two drinks maximum, if your date is pressuring you to drink too much, best thing to do is cut the night short, then end up on an all night bender. They'll definitely not lose any respect for you in doing so.
- Don't bring up your ex.
You may get asked why you're single, don't make it into a story about your ex, give a reason, which is short and sweet, and in relation to your current situation. Your singledom should actually be nothing to do with your past. Its about your present situation. If you get asked about why you broke up again, short and sweet is the way, and move on from the subject quickly. Certainly don't give the indication that you're bitter towards your ex, as it gives off signals that you're not really ready to fully move on.
- Have in mind what you're looking for.
- Ask the right questions, but don't make it feel like an interview. A date should be about getting to know someone but more importantly about enjoying one another's company. Ask questions which show interest, but not in a way which appears as if you're simply fact finding. This can make a person feel interrogated, and not a way to create a comfortable atmosphere.
- If you don't like something don't pretend you do
Just to make it seem as if you have everything in common with them. It's ok to have differences, it's great to have some things in common, like shared values, and interests. But just because you don't like all the same things as a person, doesn't mean they'll like you any less. Some of your differences may actually make you appear more interesting. And it may give you cause for some banter, which is always a good thing.
- Get off your phone when on your date,
It doesn't matter how important your job is, or what you're friends are up to on face book, when you're out with someone you need to learn to switch off. Calls can be returned and texts can wait. If you literally have an emergency situation when you need to be on call, then its better you cancel your date, then to sit there constantly checking your phone. Your focus and attention should be on your date and your date only, its really that simple.
- Be positive.
When asked how your day or week has been, sure you may have had some stresses to deal with at work, and your may want to vent. But lets face it noone wants to be in a relationship with a moaner. Stay positive, you can be honest and say, you had a few situations to deal with, but always end on a positive note. And if your date has a bit of a moan, be supportive but try to see the bright side in the situation too, and not dwell on the negative.
- Don't talk too much about yourself.
Of course its great that someone is showing an interest and wants to get to know you, but try not to get too carried away, talking about yourself, when asked questions, try to keep answers relatively brief, and keep the conversation flowing by asking about them in return. The conversation should be two way, when it ends up turning into a dialogue, your date will eventually switch off and lose interest. No matter how interested they are in you, if they feel you're too self centred it can prove to be a turn off.
- Don't be afraid to say what you want.
- Often people are afraid to lay their cards on the table, for fear of the person running away. But if you are sure of what you want, why go along, playing the guessing game, wasting both your time. Be upfront and honest, and if it turns out you're not looking for the same things, better you know sooner rather than later down the line, kicking yourself for settling for less than you deserve. In the dating game, what you want is out there, you've just go to be in in to win it!
As featured in Female First magazine