The gap just keeps widening
Political divergence of this magnitude impacts every facet of our lives, not just the romantic. Match’s 2020 Singles in America report found a record high proportion of Americans wouldn’t consider dating someone from the other side of the aisle. We can only imagine what that figure’s like now, four years on. I’d happily bet that now over half the population wouldn’t consider dinner with a politically divergent single—no matter how hot they were.
To put this in even greater context, political leaning has became a more pronounced dating consideration than religious beliefs. Back across the Pond, in 2020 24% of American singles wouldn’t consider dating across the religious divide. That paled in comparison to the 63% who wouldn’t date someone with a different opinion of the then president. In the study mentioned in the intro, the researchers at Pew found that a significant proportion of singles associated negative personality traits with their supposed political opponents. By natural extension, discussing politics with a potential partner was often considered too stressful to even bother with, leading to lots of dates and possible pairings simply never coming to fruition.
Is this kind of division normal? (Spoiler alert: no—and it ain’t healthy, either)
Helen Fisher is a renowned evolutionary anthropologist and longtime consultant at Match. She’s deeply concerned about the growing political division among singles. In fact it’s hit a point she considers frankly unnatural—and ultimately unsustainable.
According to Fisher, singles are now even ignoring their romantic instincts based on someone’s political label, disregarding the chemistry popping off simply because they vote red or blue. It’s just not normal, she says: “People who are madly in love are generally willing to overlook anything.”
What are the implications of this division for dating?
With all that being said—and with the small fact that the vast majority of spouses share political affiliation—how should singles navigate politics in 2024 and beyond?
First, there’s a raft of practical everyday considerations if you do decide to date cross-party. Will your friends and family get on? What current affairs will spoil one too many romantic dinners? Will you even be able to sit down and watch the news together?
And yet… while the idea of dating someone from a completely different bubble may be daunting, if you disregard them without even giving them a chance you really might be writing off someone highly compatible. Trust me—I’ve seen it.
Here’s my two cents: unless political differences played an unusually traumatic role in a past relationship, trust your instincts. Are they smart, kind, funny, attractive, intelligent? Then hey, surely you’ve gotta at least give this thing a shot? What’s the worst that could happen? What’s more, you may just have your mind opened, invigorated by a world of possibilities that until now have lain dormant beyond your own spectrum of morality.
Blue or red, red or blue, they still could be the one for you…
I always recommend that clients don’t bring up politics until at least date #5. That might sound a long wait, and sure, it often comes up earlier organically—but I stand by this advice. In that time you’ll see this new potential partner for who they are without any preconceptions of labels. If politics is important to you then of course you’ll need to have the conversation eventually, but trust me: I’ve seen far too many compatible singles fail to launch over the years because of misguided preconceived notions. Don’t create a rift where none need exist. Let the romance flow, let the chemistry fizzle, and let your instincts do the work.
And if you’re nervous about how to broach the topic—or you’ve already done so, and now you’re not sure what’s next—get in touch. One of our elite matchmakers will be delighted to sit down with you and discuss your options. Just, whatever, you do—don’t be hasty. Trust me: romance can, and does, transcend the party line. Love is bigger than politics—I’ve seen it with my own eyes in countless couples over the years. There’s no reason you and this politically divergent hottie in front of you shouldn’t be next.
